I had an epiphany today.
I visited the Cliffs of Moher, on the Irish coast. It was incredibly windy and cold, my cheeks were stinging in the freezing air. Below, near the surface of the water, birds flew back and forth, but the wind was so loud I could not hear the cries I am sure they were making.
The whitecap waves, a hundred feet below the walkway, broke with such force against the cliff walls that to stand in certain places meant a seawater spray would soon hit you.
As I stood there, cold only where the wind ripped the fabric away to reveal exposed skin, I realized that I am at peace.
However much I may hurt over recent events, I am at peace.
When I first learned what was happening in Paris on the 13th, I broke down and wept. That man could commit such heinous crimes hurts my very soul.
Since hearing about those attacks, I have been focused, unknowingly, on the negatives of this world. After an event such as that, it is so easy to look at your fellow travelers and wonder, what if they are like that too? And in doing that, I worried needlessly. Not because my fears are invalid, but because there are certain things that I cannot control.
This is one of those things.
However much I would like to, I cannot bring back all the people who died, throughout on the world, in the past several weeks. Nor can I help them or their families by focusing on how I feel. Because when I do that, my motives all become selfish, and I do nothing to help heal this broken world.
So my epiphany is this: I am not in control, and that is okay.
Just as I can have no control over the waves breaking on the cliff walls, I can have no control of other people’s choices. I can make suggestions, but have to leave the ultimate decision up to them.
That is a terrifying thought for this stereotypical oldest child, A-type personality, but it is something I must embrace.
I am not sure why the waves at the Cliffs of Moher brought this all to mind. Regardless of the reason, it was a moment of clarity I needed.
I have so enjoyed my trip to Ireland, and will be posting pictures soon, but first I wanted to address this topic that has been weighing on my heart since last Friday.
I miss you all dearly and would, if I may, leave you with a few words of advice. Wherever you are, and whatever you are experiencing, be it joy or tornadoes, new babies or earthquakes, enjoy today. Surrender control, and love others deeply.
I can’t wait to see you all in December!!!